What a Week.

It's been a long time since I last posted, and I can't honestly say that I stayed on track while I was away. Instead, I gorged. I ate too much too often, and it showed on the scale. I gained two pounds.
Yet I avoided the gym anyway, and when I promised myself I'd eat well, I went to the cafeteria and ate a beef and cheese quesadilla. Healthy, huh?
But I finally got a wake-up call. This weekend, I toured my first wedding venue. As I looked around at the gorgeous Victorian-style mansion, I was astounded at the beauty around me...and I wanted to be a part of it. I realized that I want to fit my decor in my own eyes. The wedding consultant said "every bride and every wedding is beautiful". I know that's true, but...I can't help it, I don't like looking in the mirror and seeing what I see. I do like myself, I really do! I just don't like my body with all its lumps, bumps, and extra  large tendencies "curves". I fear wedding dress shopping because my dream gowns are NOT exactly forgiving. I fear walking into a store where they look up my measurements on a size chart and look at me again with widened, judging eyes.
I don't want that. On my wedding day, I want to make myself feel like the most lovely woman in the world. So, I'm back at it. I've started the SlimFast diet, and I've returned to the gym. I've been good for the past couple days, although I did succumb once-and I plan to continue. In the town I attend college in, there is a little ice cream shop that opens seasonally, and it's my weakness! 250 flavors of soft serve....who can resist? Not me!
To anyone reading this...you can do it if I can. We can do this! It's a journey, and it's not a fun one, but the destination is the most incredible place in the whole world: true happiness within yourself!

Skinny Bitch and all that Ish...

Planning a wedding is stressful. I'm two years out, and my mind is swirling with ideas that people (mostly my mother) hate. I have this grand vision in my head, and this vision centers on birdcages.

Why, you ask? Well, I have a Victorian theme for my far-off nuptials. My birdcages are near and dear to my heart for centerpieces. Everyone I've showed them to has been astounded at the idea of flower-filled birdcages for centerpieces. Well, everyone except the one footing the bill...my mother. She hates them so vehemently that I almost gave up.

But I'm not a quitter, as I'm hoping this blog will show. So today I made a replica birdcage, which made my mother irritated, but more accepting of the idea. And as such, I got what I wanted: my birdcages!

Now back to the non-fantasy: the reality of weight loss. I picked up "Skinny Bitch" and read for about an hour. But...ouch. It's not so much that they're harsh, which I'd appreciate. The diet is just RIDICULOUS. I cannot possibly cut out meat, dairy, caffeine, and sugar. I mean, WHAT WOULD I EAT?! It's perplexing to say the least. So after an hour, I decided to go my own way with the practical eating plan. I've reamped my dedication to Sparkpeople.com, the best weight loss site I've ever seen. I'm going to stick to a reasonable calorie plan and an exercise regime, but honestly, I will NEVER be a skinny bitch. And I am totally okay with that.

Taking Steps

Tonight, my lovely fiance came down to visit me at school. Feeling fresh and ready to start my new plan, we headed out to dinner and then for some shopping. I ate reasonably well, but still felt a bit sick.
Let me put this into perspective...I'm a shopping whore. It's a major issue. I love EVERYTHING. So, to Barnes & Noble we went. Instantly, I devoured the wedding section. As Justin and I sat there reading, I suddenly received the best inspiration ever:

Can you say wedding dresses?!

Because, as it turns out, I can squeal about them. I love lace, drama, gorgeous flowing gowns....and I want to look as lovely in them as the model above does in that dress that haunts my dreams. I need to float down the aisle. And I want to do so feeling and being lighter than I currently am. 

With that in mind, I walked over to the self-improvement section and picked up "Skinny Bitch". I've always heard about it, but until now, I've never read it. That changes tonight.

It seems like just the ass-kicking I need. So we shall see.